Halfway
This weekend we hit the halfway point of this deployment. I actually
can't believe it's here already. That is not to say it has been easy, it
has been anything but.
As usual most of the challenges start in the division and with the chain
of command. I have certainly struggled adjusting to our new Chief and
every time I think I have things figured out and am working on the right
path he finds a way to slap me right back down. We had a nice heart
to heart tonight and he told me that for all the great things that I am
doing he says it is overshadowed by my attitude in the division. In a
nutshell I told him that I am unhappy where things currently are in my
life and that unhappiness is coming from my dissatisfaction with my job.
I am tired of working in a place that celebrates mediocrity, working
with people that are substandard and having the goalposts constantly
moved. I want to work in a place that makes me better and work with
people that challenge me (in a positive way) and I am in a completely
opposite place right now. It starts at the top and filters its way all
the way down to the E-1 in my shop. He said he knows all this and that I
have a job to do and will just have to suck it up which I agreed with
but told him that nothing he can say or do will quell my frustration and
dissatisfaction of working here.
getting a new Command Master Chief (THANK GOD!) and the Executive
Officer will be moving up to take command of the ship in the next couple
months. Most people are pretty happy about that as well. I still have
almost a year left here and it is going to be a daily struggle to get
through it. I really don't know what my future in the Navy is going to
be. I just know the present is not what I want it to be. Here is hoping
the second half of this deployment goes better then the first half.
